eliza
or, i find inspiration for this newsletter in the weirdest places
this week’s Thought (singular)
is cold weather worth the endlessly undrying clothes? yes, yes it is.
hi
i recently came across some research about the first developed chatbot (you can read the entire paper here, if this interests you). there’s one part, a conversation between a woman (in sentence-case) and the system (upper-case), that stood out to me.
at the risk of anthropomorphising what is effectively a machine, and hence lending a little more credence than is deserved to this interaction, i can’t stop thinking about ‘You are not very aggressive but I think you don’t want me to notice that’. how many layers are hidden under deliberate gruffness? and how much fear is involved in that masking? also ‘Perhaps I could learn to get along with my mother’. the very fact that the relationship with the self has a direct influence on relationships with others holds so much weight in the case for openness and vulnerability.
there’s been a noticeable shift in the last few years in the way we interact with each other - whether in-person or virtually. a greater cloaking over genuineness, a palpable disinclination towards seriousness during heavy conversations, compassion being taken as naivety. obviously, i don’t have all the answers and i’m not here to preach, but something tells me that this isn’t the healthiest or most enriching way of communicating, especially with the people we’re close to.
how this little write-up started with a chatbot and came to this point, i’m not exactly sure. what exactly the point is either, i’m not exactly sure (the uncertainty and disclaimer towards the end is starting to seem like a recurring theme in this newsletter). but i think what i’m trying to say is that it’s important to cultivate honesty in the way we interact - not just in speech, but also in just being. it’s important to jump over the initial hurdle of intimidation that comes with opening up and, god forbid, expressing a real emotion without a trace of deadpan.
or something. i’m not an authority on this (or anything). i think this quote does a better job of it.
English Recitation Competition
If I am ever caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, just being alive and not bothering anyone, I hope I am greeted with the same kind of mercy.
To My Mother, Mahmoud Darwish (translated from Arabic by A. Z. Foreman)
I am old Give me back the stars of childhood That I may chart the homeward quest Back with the migrant birds, Back to your awaiting nest.
The White Paws, Dara Yen Elerath
The fox with broken legs has a gift others do not. He removes his paws and they go walking through the woods at night alone. The paws stop to touch pondwater, to brush a blade of saltgrass. They tap the backs of passing beetles in the dark. At dawn, they return to the fox, whispering of rabbits curled in damp caverns, of green oak leaves and sand. The fox listens carefully; he gleans secrets of the world this way. He learns of the earth without lifting his nose from his long, broken limbs. Always, when the paws return they say we missed you, always he listens. How young, how simple they seem beside his face which is mottled and pocked. He gentles the paws like children. He hopes when he dies they live on without him. When his bones rattle and shake in wind, he hopes the paws walk through autumn leaves, pad softly through newfallen snow. He dreams they will drift across a black lake dappled with rain; that, above it, they’ll rise; they’ll glow like four pale moons.
A Poll!
Middle School Book Review
(I’M SO EXCITED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS ONE. SORRY FOR SCREAMING)
The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna
the purest, most wholesome, loveliest thing i’ve read in a long time. i’ll admit, i’ve had a bit of trouble with the books i’ve picked up so far this year, and this was probably the first one that made me feel fulfilled rather than apathetic when i completed it. there are witches, adorable children, a super cute sunshine x grumpy trope, some truly shocking secrets and betrayal, just the perfect amount of angst, and a lovely cast of characters that you can’t help but get attached to. it’s not an incredibly heavy read, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel anything.
find all shared books here.
A Picture!
The Good Side of the Internet
Five weeks into the protests that erupted across Iran in response to the killing of Mahsa Amini, the floundering Iranian authorities thought it would be a good idea to put up a massive poster in central Tehran depicting dozens of eminent Iranian women as supporters of the mandatory wearing of the hijab. Photographs of academics, writers, directors, artists, actors and athletes were shown in a collage with the slogan ‘Women of Our Land’ which was plastered on the billboard the regime reserves for its most urgent public messaging, a massive structure towering over Valiasr Square. The display included such unlikely figures as the novelist Simin Daneshvar, who wore the hijab only after the revolution made it compulsory, depicted patriarchal oppression in her fiction, and is on record saying that she wished ‘the world was run by women’.
Swamp Boy Medical Mystery (blurb by Longreads)
Fourteen-year-old Michael suddenly starts to experience inexplicable psychotic episodes. He tells his father he’s the son of the devil. He claims his tabby cat is possessed by demons. Believing he’s no longer human, he says he’s becoming “Swamp Thing,” a green monster on one of the posters on his wall. As his condition worsens, Michael is diagnosed with schizophrenia multiple times, but his father refuses to accept the diagnosis, believing that there could be another trigger to his son’s mysterious illness. In a riveting piece that’s illustrated with comic book art by Mado Peña, Kris Newby retells this family’s hellish 18-month journey to uncover the cause.
At their core, cryptids represent the triumph of the particular over the generic. They “shouldn’t” exist, but they “do” anyway.
Anand Pal Singh was from a community that occupied the fringes of Rajput culture in Rajasthan. But his life and death recalibrated the community’s dynamics—and swung an election.
Cooking all day while the cook is away. How the slow cooker changed the world.
this week’s Song
find all shared songs here.
thank you for reading, and see you next week <3
yes? no? maybe? let me know!