words to consume and words that consume you

i'm sick of social media detoxes.

this week’s Thought

if the phone is in my hand, and i have the power to see what i want to see, why don’t i actively seek out what i want to see? what do i want to see anymore?

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hi

holidays open me to the concept of loneliness and solitude, and how the two compare.

i like my room. i like being alone in my room. i like being alone in my room when it’s late at night, and i can take a walk to the kitchen without having to meet somebody on the way. i can entertain myself with my thoughts for hours on end, and i truly, non-pretentiously, enjoy spending time alone.

so i seek out solitude. i seek out durations away from people so i can have that alone time - to recharge from being perceived, to drop the pressure of having to act like i know what i’m doing, from simply having to interact. it’s a blessing, knowing that to judge yourself is clown behaviour of the highest order.

but solitude is a fine line to walk. pull the tight rope too taught, and suddenly you’re toppling over to the side of loneliness. too often, more than i’d like to admit, i overdo solitude. i tell myself i need to recharge, and then i’m alone in my room, and suddenly my primary conversation partner is telling me the nastiest things. questioning me about whether i actually enjoy spending time alone, or if i’m just too used to it. making me wonder if i’m truly comfortable with myself, or if i just find safety in knowing that i can control how i react to myself. tip over too far, and there’s a physical ache, one that’s so tangible, so instantly recognisable. no other feeling is so startlingly clear and identifiable as loneliness is. hunger and anger confuse me constantly, excitement and relief blend into a general void of lightness, but loneliness? that bitch makes herself known for who she is.

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Photo by Cyrus Chew on Unsplash

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English Recitation Competition

1. Instructions, Eavan Boland

   To write about age you need to take something and
   break it.
   
   (This is an art that has always loved young women.
   And silent ones.)

2. The Thing Is, Ellen Bass

   Then you hold life like a face
   between your palms, a plain face,
   no charming smile, no violet eyes,
   and you say, yes, I will take you
   I will love you, again.

3. Stationery, Agha Shahid Ali

   The moon did not become the sun.
   It just fell on the desert
   in great sheets, reams
   of silver handmade by you.
   The night is your cottage industry now,
   the day is your brisk emporium.
   The world is full of paper.
   
   Write to me.

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Middle School Book Review

Honeybee by Trista Mateer

a poetry collection that is so supremely tender and yet so fierce. will leave you needing to take breaks often, every time you read a verse that makes the air leave your lungs in a whoosh and leaves you staring at the wall, feeling like something’s permanently been altered inside you.

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The Good Side of the Internet

1. Love the art, disgusted by the artist?

   There are a range of moral questions surrounding how we should respond to the immoral acts of artists whose work we love. But, for art lovers, a central aspect of revelations about artists’ behaviour is how it makes us feel. Maybe you were raised on the music of Michael Jackson or the novels of Marion Zimmer Bradley, but you’re disturbed by the child-abuse allegations against them; maybe you love Kevin Spacey movies, but find them hard to stomach since you’ve read about his alleged predatory behaviour. In such cases, we’re left with the wrenching discomfort of our heartstrings being pulled in multiple directions.

2. Donald Glover Interviews Donald Glover (transcript)

   From his farm, where he’s putting the finishing touches on his upcoming Amazon series Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the 38-year-old father of three unspools his Willy Wonka mindset to someone who knows exactly which threads to pull: himself.

3. Solitude is not loneliness.

   Arthur Schopenhauer believed that solitude was an opportunity for introspection, imagination, and contemplation with yourself. Research shows that solitude of this kind allows us to be more creative. But, in a the busy world of today, do we ever let ourselves be solitary? Loneliness is different from solitude. For many people, being alone is a scary and dangerous place. That's why knowing the difference between solitude and loneliness is important.

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this week’s Song

Bright Lights by Matchbox Twenty

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thank you for reading, and see you next week <3

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