this week’s Thought (singular)
sipper bottles are so genius. this is zero effort hydration. i am drinking water as i’m typing this.
a very warm welcome to all new readers. i love new readers so much that whenever i get an email about a new reader, i manifest that they find that one bookmark that they’ve been looking for. thank you for joining us. may you be filled with glee on recognising the chart paper corner sticking out from under a folder in your shelf and immediately begin to use it.
a very warm welcome to old readers as well. may good sense continue to prevail.
Before We Begin
this week’s topic was a result of something that was mentioned in a recent vlog by figuringitoutwanisha on instagram. i saw it and instantly wanted to get something down on paper, so shoutout for the inspiration.
if you live in bangalore (or frequently visit the city), and if you like to run (or would like to like to run), check out belbullets on instagram for a super fun community of people who run in different areas of bangalore on saturday mornings and then get masala dosa together. beginners and pros are welcome!
hi
this week starts with a question, contains more question, and–you guessed it–ends with a question. there are statements that could be answers if you read them in a certain way, but they won’t clear anything up.
if you had to sustain the same pace as the last two months of your life, how long would you be able to sustain it?
does this question lead you to thinking about slowing down or speeding up? what if we made it one month? six months? when they tell you to make a five year plan, do you approach it assuming that you’ll be sprinting for all those years, or do you keep a buffer for some light jogging? what’s the rush?
i get scared when i consider the idea of running without pause (metaphorically. physically, i can’t do it anyway, so there’s no need for fear). it’s a sort of dread of going and going and going and not being able to stop, and the panting sweating collapsing when your body finally forces you to. i’m not afraid of hard work, but i am afraid of not finding the breaks and careening into a slippery downward spiral. i’m afraid of how long it takes for me to regain my balance and how dogshit it is, how in that initial recovery time my skin doesn’t feel like it hangs off my bones just right and how my mind feels hazy like a fog.
a few months ago, i had written about what time seems like when you’re free-falling. about how it passes around you and through you, how it isn’t in your control, and by whom it’s owned.
how do you approach a situation that requires you to run without this fear of possibly not knowing when you can stop next? if you’ve gone through the motions once, these motions of hurtling through space without anything to break your course, how do you let go of the inhibition when you’re being flung off?
everything is so fast these days. half the year is almost over, and i struggle to clearly recollect the last six months past the blur of time passing. i say something happened last year, only to realise that i actually mean two years ago. time is flying, but could i please have a turn in the cockpit? can we cruise for a bit?
ps: i’m so glad to know that so many of you liked last week’s thodi. i had so much fun writing it. thank you for reading!
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A Picture!
English Recitation Competition
Holding the Light, Stuart Kestenbaum (read the full poem here)
Whether we created God or God created us it all comes down to this: In our imperfect world we are meant to repair and stitch together what beauty there is, stitch it with compassion and wire. See how everything we have made gathers the light inside itself and overflows? A blessing.
Urgent Message to a Friend in Pain, Joseph Fasano
I have to tell you a little thing about living (I know, I know, but hear me) a little thing I’ve carried in the dark: Remember when you saw the stars of childhood, when you knelt alone and thought that they were there for you, lamps that something held to prove your beauty? They are they are they are they are they are.
When My Friend Asks Me a Difficult Question, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
I close my eyes as if the truth might rise from the dark the way leaves of water lilies float greenly at the edge of two worlds. When the words do come, I taste shine in them. Now I don’t want to speak in any language that doesn’t open like lilies, nourished by depths, encouraged by light.
Sincerely, the Sky, David Hernandez (read the full poem here)
How often I find you then on your patio, pajamaed and distressed, head thrown back so your eyes can pick apart not the darker version of myself but the carousel of stars. To you I am merely background. You barely hear my voice. Remember I am most vibrant when air breaks my light. Do something with your brokenness.
The Good Side of the Internet
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this week’s Song
find all shared songs here.
thank you for reading, and see you next week <3