unconventional love languages
cw: stupidly tender and sappy
this week’s Thought (singular)
given the choice between deeply sleeping on an incredibly fluffy cloud for 2 hours, and lightly sleeping in a slightly lumpy bed for 10 hours, which would you pick? i’d say cloud. physics and condensation don’t exist in the context of this question btw.
hi
i had taken a uquiz a while back about love languages. i don’t remember what i got - i don’t even remember the questions - but i do remember being absolutely enamoured by the concept of unconventional love languages. words of affirmation and acts of service are great, but i truly ascend when somebody waits for me to tie my shoelaces on the sidewalk. or the friendship of sharing an umbrella, where neither of you are truly covered, but it’s fun anyway! or the super-satisfied and companionable quietness after jamming out to a song together, or the lounging for hours in a room in silence, occasionally showing the other person memes you come across in your scrolling.
it’s so very delightful that we sub-consciously do these things, say these things, around and to the people we treasure. no preamble, no ceremony, just straight up remembering how you like your tea with more milk, knowing your music taste, “this reminded me of you”.
cynicism is easy, i’ve realised. it takes no effort to stick to yourself, to languish in solitude and not text anybody until they text you first, and to be a bit petty and martyr-like when you see people hanging out without you, and to be willfully blind to the fact that you haven’t made any effort either. because it’s so difficult to put in that work, to not resign yourself to throwing your arms up in the air and complaining about being lonely, complaining that there’s nobody to hang out with, lamenting that you’re the only one who feels this way.
i’m only 21 and i’ve already realised that my 20s are going to be lonely. friends moving, groups disintegrating, lives coming in between meaningful relationships, the uncertainty of independence and the absolute agony of realising all this. and it’s far too simple to spiral into the loneliness vortex, and takes far too many days to pull one’s self out, but you’ll grimace your way through spoilt ice-cream with your friend one day, and through the sounds of disgust, you’ll feel alright. all our 20s are going to be lonely (got that one from a dear friend).
maybe it’s about finding those moments of startling clarity, using shared experiences or simply knowing what’s happening in another person’s life. they’re what makes growing up bearable, i think.
this one ran away from me a bit. but things can be wholesome and heavy.
English Recitation Competition
Down Jacket God, Moon Bo Young
God wears a massive down jacket. Humans are the countless duck feathers trapped inside, the poet writes. Sometimes a feather pokes out. God plucks it carelessly. That's what people call death. A feather gets plucked. That person dies. A feather gets plucked. That person expires. A feather gets plucked. That person breathes their last breath. A feather gets plucked. That person disappears. After death there's no heaven or hell, no angels or devils, the poet writes. There's only a feather. It swings in the air. Gently, the feather settles on the ground.
We think by feeling. What is there to know? I hear my being dance from ear to ear. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Dear Birmingham, Gabrielle Bates
I was once so terrified of my own contentment I bit my shoulder and drew blood there to the surface—past it— What I have wanted most is many lives. One for each longing, round and separate.
Middle School Book Review
The Scapegracers by Hannah Abigail Clarke
there are badass witches. a very read-between-the-lines book, it feels like half the story is in the gaps between letters, very well-written. the characterisation is absolutely stunning. makes me want to gather all my girlfriends and draw a pentagram on the floor and hold hands and try to make each other float with our minds, or dance around a bonfire in the middle of the night and delight in our sisterhood and shout things at the sky.
The Good Side of the Internet
How to support a struggling friend
Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say or do. Use these five strategies for providing effective emotional support
The Day My Wartime Cat Went Missing
How a few moments of panic beckoned a sad story with a happy ending
The Buffy creator, once an icon of Hollywood feminism, is now an outcast accused of misogyny. How did he get here?
this week’s Song
Both Sides Of The Moon by Celeste and Gotts Street Park
thank you for reading, and see you next week <3