of social engagements
and leaving them when agitated
this week’s Thought (singular)
i have realised too late in life that it’s fun to meet new people. now i need to spend the next five years figuring out what my personality is when friends who haven’t known me since high school are around
hi
it isn’t exactly nervousness, and anxiety feels too heavy a word, but agitation. that’s the bitch. skin prickling, fingers itching, something is off, off, off. the pressing need to leave a situation that’s too crowded, too noisy, too much attention called to you.
it’s not welcome crowd, noise, and attention like when i’m on stage. it’s strange and off-putting and plain bad. when it’s done and dusted and you’re alone again, it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, and shouldn’t you perhaps not get so worked up just by being in a damn room?
i’m getting better though, but that’s not the point. the point is a big shout-out to the people who calm that agitation - comforting hand on shoulder, stepping in at the right moment, “why don’t you come help me in the kitchen?”.
hope you have/find your people.
English Recitation Competition
Healing Will Come: Elegy after Natural Disaster, Patricia Jabbeh Wesley
Somewhere, always, somewhere, there’s a day when healing comes. Wasn’t this what life was supposed to bring, after death, the healing? Healing refuses to be lost to death, I say, healing will come.
Crossing the Line, E. Ethelbert Miller
Did I ever tell you that your eyes are a map and I would lose myself if you ever turned away
“I would like to step out of my heart’s door and be Under the great sky.” I would like to step out And be on the other side, and be part of all That surrounds me. I would like to be In that solitude of soundless things, in the random Company of the wind, to be weightless, nameless. But not for long, for I would be downcast without The things I keep inside my heart; and in no time I would be back.
Middle School Book Review
The Book of Delights by Ross Gay
a stunning collection of essays/journal entries that celebrate little, happy things every day. wholesome and pure to the absolute core, and made me want to start a similar journal myself. so feel-good, so positive, so calm, so good.
The Good Side of the Internet
For Father's Day, a list of advice sent by F. Scott Fitzgerald to his daughter. Scottie was just 11 years old and at camp many miles away from her family when, in August 1933, she received a heartening letter of advice from home. It was written by her father, F. Scott Fitzgerald, a man responsible for penning some of the most acclaimed novels of modern times and someone for whom the art of writing letters was clearly a breeze. This particular missive contained a charming and timeless list of things for his daughter to worry/not worry about, and it read as follows.
As tasks mount up, our brain’s ability to juggle goes down. Neuroergonomic tactics can relieve the cognitive burden
Just how important is eye contact between musicians?
Eye contact can be an incredibly important form of musical communication – yet some conductors barely look at the orchestra. So just how valuable is it exactly in practice?
this week’s Song
thank you for reading, and see you next week <3